Race Report

Canberra Race 5 (21/3/04)

By Team RedHair

After almost missing the start in race 3 due to our captain enjoying the futon at team Redhair HQ we decided to set the alarms early and with no light at 6.00am we peered out the kitchen window looking for signs of a clear sky. Putting the cloudy sky down to a typical Canberra weather and from the previous 4 races knowing that we could encounter anything from snow to desert heat, we shuffled out the door in our fleeces, looking for a roll of contact for our maps. All the Canberrans were enjoying what we could only dream of and as a result we would have to cross our fingers and pray for fine weather.

With a welcome smile from Bob we dropped off the two bikes, our Captain smiling knowing her time in the yellow bananas was limited, and headed to the start line.
Boats pumped up, briefing completed, it was off to tackle the start line, which was a challenge in itself. Getting into the yellow bananas from a 2 metre drop required some skilful shuffling. With the photographer poised, we narrowly escaped a pre-race dunk and paddled out to await the gun. With the Weav’n Leotarts daring to pull our bung out, we all lined up to face the headwind. BANG and off went 46 bananas going in (sort of) the same direction, it was rougher than Bass Strait. AIS set themselves a handicap and lost one of their paddle blades in the first few strokes, although it wasn’t enough to slow them down as they and the rest of us chased Navig8 who were setting a cracking pace to Aspen island.

With the wind behind us on the return, Captain Reggie plotted the first 6 checkpoints as Geff and I dreamt of outboard motors, tow ropes and anything that would make these boats go like the awesome foursome.

Docking and a short stroll to the grass skate ramp, Alina and all the crew yelled shouts of encouragement as we chased our captain to the first checkpoint, collecting all 6 hidden CPs. Having just caught our breath we waved goodbye to Reggie and took to the water, fish tailing all the way into Lotus Bay and TA1.

This being our fifth AROC race, we took careful note to read the instructions and gained the advantage on our closest competitor as they missed the grassy slope. Past the tennis courts, round to CP13 and then it was into the depths of Parliament House that we descended.

After several warnings from security that our walking resembled a run, we felt sympathy for Jane Saville and other Olympic walkers who get disqualified from the slightest heel lift. Settling into our old school days march past stride, up the marble staircases, we headed for Little Johnny’s office. Reaching the penthouse, Johnny and Jeanette hadn’t rolled out the barbeque for a quick bacon and egg roll, so we turned and headed back down the elevators. When the doors opened, it resembled Grace Bros on Boxing Day – 3 of us narrowly getting out of the way as the mob poured in. Thanking security, we left before we were mistaken for terrorists. Unfortunately for team Crank, they had their camelbaks confiscated for a short time – after all, Gatorade does resemble Anthrax. Lucky for team Crank they don’t race in moo moos anymore and were soon hot on our heels.

Leaving Parliament House, we enjoyed the surprise, although nothing could top race 3’s surprise – the waterslide. The vision of the AROC mascot – Valbe the dog, shooting through the waterslide tubes was a blast and will go down in history as the best leg of any adventure race.

CP15 recorded, we climbed up to the water tanks, Tom greeting us with a big smile up at the top and sending us in search of 5 CPs on foot. “Watch out for the grays!” he shouted and he wasn’t wrong – either Skippy had entered the breeding program or these were the extras for Kangaroo Jack’s next film. As we raced from CP to CP, we brushed shoulders with one half of the Australian coat of arms.

Back on the bikes, we sidled around Red Hill and enjoyed the great descent to Mugga Way, hitting the tar on our way to TA6. Team AIS passed us heading in the opposite direction (could it be they wanted to get to Maccas before breakfast was finished at 10:30?).

Bikes parked and off we ran to get another 4 CPs. Heading to CP 21 we encountered the Canberra version of the Great Wall of China – an impassable barbed wire fence. Geff and I did our best Frosby Flop and cleared the bar, but unfortunately Reggie at 5’0” couldn’t do her best Tatiana pole vault impersonation and had to settle for running the rabbit proof fence all the way to Kalgoorlie so as not to ruin her freshly Epiladied model legs. At last a small gap was spotted and she squeezed under, and headed for the rocky knoll. Running in rolling ankle country, we managed to find the most resistant path through the thistles and collected all CPs with little more than a few scratches and a slight limp.

Running back, Tom gave us a great cheer and said it was all down hill home. We put the pedal to the metal and raced all the way. With Geff at my left side, and my fallible navigation, I yelled to turn right and went – left. Geff of course went right. Now we know what you get when you cross a Kona with an Avanti – brown marks in your bike shorts.

With CP25 collected, we sprinted to TA8. With me shouting encouragement to burn the quads as this was the last leg, Geff and I were surprised to see our captain running up the tunnel of love shouting “6 more CPs to go!”, Geff looked at me and mouthed “But you said….” I shrugged my shoulders and chased Reggie to the flag pole. After a quick swim in the fountain at CP9, we raced to CP11, with the Fat Boys beating us by a bee’s dick to the clicker. With our last CP12 clicked, it was once more down the fun funnel to the finish, and we crossed the line to the tune of Inspector Gadget by local Jazz band, ‘Seb and the Bastions’.

A great big thank-you to Tom and Alina for running a well oiled machine in the nations capital. Next year we’d like to see the Parliament enter a team – the likes of Kim Beazley, Amanda Vanstone and Mark Latham could give us all a run for our money.

Joel, Reggie, Geff
(Team RedHair)